But How Will Bean Be Born? Naturally, Of Course! Bear with me.

Hi Everyone.

Hang in there with me while I drag out and dust off my soap box a bit. I was torn as to whether I really wanted to post this or not - and trust me, I will go right back to cute baby things and bump pictures in the next post. In the meantime, I figure that this is my blog and so I can post what I've been thinking about lately, and this topic is something I have become rather passionate about. I researched hard to get informative links for this post, so be sure to check them out!

It's truly amazing what a little bit of knowledge and time can do to a person's attitude and perception of things.

When I first discovered I was pregnant, the last thing I thought about was what I wanted for the birth of my baby. I assumed, as I am sure most American women do, that of course I would go to a hospital! Of course I would have an epidural! Of course!! I wasn't crazy. Why experience pain when it can so "easily" be avoided? Then, natural childbirth came up one day in conversation with my cousin's wife who was then also pregnant. She handed me this book, and gently suggested that I just give it a read before I finalized any decision.

Being an open minded person, I gave it a thorough read. It not only opened my eyes to the reality of the rather alarmingly counter-intuitive nature of the typical American childbirth experience, it also changed my mind completely about what I hope my own birth experience will be.

In a few short weeks, and LOTS of extra research later, I found myself firmly committed to as natural a birth as possible, by which I mean: no drugs, no IV, no electronic fetal monitoring, no laying on my back with my knees in the air during delivery, no episiotomy, and finally, hopefully, no C-section.

Did you know that the C-Section rate is as high as one in three births in this country? That is mind-blowing. People generally tend to treat Cesarian Sections as though they are not a big deal maybe because they have become all too common?). Something you can schedule in for convenience, even. C-Sections are major abdominal surgery, and come with all of the risks that major surgery carries, (infection, blood clots, etc.). The World Health organization says that Cesarian sections should account for no more than 5-10% of overall births. Check out that link for some more solid information.

Further, and even more alarming, did you know that the maternal mortality rate in the United States is among the highest of any industrialized nation? This article, written by Ina May Gaskin for the Journal of Perinatal Education takes a stark look at the issue, and addresses the myth (as she refers to it), that the United States is one of the safest countries in the world in which to give birth. 

So, my great hope for my birth experience is to avoid the long list of interventions that are considered the norm here in the U.S. that tend to cascade into one another. Here is a great article from Mothering Magazine that addresses what I mean by interventions during labor and birth, (IV, pitocin, epidural, episiotomy, etc.)  and the risk that each carry. These interventions have become ritualized in U.S. hospitals, and many nurses and OB-GYNs tend to push them on you to a certain extent, which is why I have chosen to give birth in an out-of-hospital birthing center, with two wonderful doctors, a midwife, and our Doula. ("What in the heck is a Doula?", you ask? Click here for more information).  If there is any cause for concern prior to going into labor, or in the event of an emergency, the birth will happen at the hospital, which is literally next door to the birthing center itself. Certainly, natural child birth can be achieved in a hospital, but after much careful consideration Joe and I have agreed that the right setting for us to achieve our goal of an intervention-free birth would be in a place where intervention is not an option unless medically necessary.

Let me also make it perfectly clear that I am grateful for modern obstetrical care where it is needed. In the event that there is an emergency, I know that I will be given the best care modern medicine has to offer. Modern day OB-GYNs are responsible for saving the lives of many women and babies who would not have made it otherwise, and that is nothing short of miraculous. I don't discount that women do require C-Sections, maybe an occasional episiotomy here and there, as there are legitimate medical reasons for them.

However, if I am healthy, the baby is healthy, and I am hoping to avoid being cut open, it seems a bit silly to have a surgeon deliver my baby. An obstetrician is a trained surgeon.  In other words, why would I want to treat my pregnancy and birth as though it is high-risk when it is not, with a doctor who is potentially more willing to cut than perhaps he or she should be? Another interesting fact, pulled from the Mothering Magazine article about the risk of interventions in child birth: "The US and Canada are the only countries in the world in which obstetricians provide primary birth care for the majority of normal births." Midwifery is the norm throughout the rest of the industrialized world.

The essential difference between what I want, and what the hospital setting offers is that I do not want to treat my pregnancy as though it is a disease, or something to be treated. It is a natural process that I believe should be respected, and unfortunately in hospitals, pregnancy, labor and birth are treated as something to be feared. Why fear it? This is what my body is designed to do. The cultural message that American women receive about pregnancy and childbirth from news and other media, Hollywood (especially Hollywood), the medical community and even, particularly, other women, is that it is unnatural, that their bodies are defective, that things can and will go wrong at every turn; that the labor/birth process is excruciating and that we should go to any lengths necessary to avoid the pain and inconvenience of the process. But what about women all over the world who give birth without epidural, pitocin induction, and other myriad interventions every single day? Could nature really have gotten it so wrong with women's bodies? The number of people on this planet seems to suggest otherwise.

The most surprising, and at times the most disappointing discovery about the decision-making process that has led me to hope that my birth experience will be natural, and hopefully (gasp!) not in a hospital has been the large lack of overall support from various friends and family members. Reactions to my desire to give birth with no epidural have been met with everything from "You're crazy", to "Yeah, OK, Laura, good luck. You'll never make it. You have a low pain tolerance.", to "You shouldn't bother having a birth plan, it never goes the way you want it to.", and "Don't be a hero." All criticisms coming from people who never gave birth naturally, and also many from those who never will (men). My favorite though was from my (now former) Doctor: "Just be sure to do research about it." HA. Why do you think I'm asking you all these questions, lady?!

I am hoping that maybe with a little more information at their fingertips, people will be willing to open their minds to the possibility that what I'm saying isn't really all that crazy after all. And, yes, of course giving birth will involve pain. Of course it will be intense. I rest assured knowing that it will likely be the most intense, and possibly most intensely painful experience I will ever have. But it's supposed to be! That's why they call it labor - it's hard work! It is also important to keep in mind that when we in the western world think about pain, our minds associate it automatically with being injured or sick, that something must be wrong with our bodies. Labor pain is pain with a purpose, and it is pain with an end point, it does not last forever. It is not illness, nor injury. And at the end of that "pain", I get to meet my beautiful baby.

Certainly there is a great deal to be said for the need to be flexible, which is something that any Mama has to accept about giving birth whether she wants an epidural or a C-Section or not (and no, all of you Mamas out there reading this, if you had an epidural or a C-Section, I am NOT judging you, that isn't the point here, but I know people are very sensitive about this). A lot of this will not be up to me, but up to Bean and whatever powers that be - there are a lot of factors that have to be just right, like Bean being in the proper position for birth, both our vitals have to be in good condition, and there can be no circumstances that would prevent a natural birth or that would endanger me or the baby, etc., (and yes, the providers check for all of that at the birth center before anything can proceed and monitor both of us intermittently throughout the process). Most of the time mother nature takes care of those things on her own, though, so I am going to take a leap of faith, and leave the rest up to her... in the meantime, I hope to stack the deck.

Thanks for listening :) back to baby bump updates (and shorter posts) soon.




PS - for those interested in further information, here are some links to media, books and websites that I found particularly enlightening:

Watch on iTunes or Netflix, (really, please do, this is an important film): The Business of Being Born.

Mothering Magazine, pregnancy and birth prep section: has some great and informative articles about attachment and natural parenting and birth.

Read: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, also Birth Matters: A Midwife's Manifesta. Both great, very informative reads about birth in the U.S.

Also, a bit wonky/academic but that's how I like to roll: The Rituals of American Hospital Birth, by Robbie Davis-Floyd, Ph.D.

A Party, A Surprise Shower and a Marriage Blessing, (or: How We Spent Our Trip to San Antonio)

Joe and I returned this past Tuesday from a trip to San Antonio, Texas, where a large number of my family on my Mom's side resides. For those who don't know, Mom is the third of nine children, so I have many Aunts, Uncles and cousins from that side of the family (yes, NINE kids!! I can't imagine and I am only working on number one). I am able to visit about once a year, though I really wish it could be more. Usually the visit is around September or October for the annual "camp-in", when we celebrate my Grandparent's birthdays, (Poppie is turning 95 soon, and Mahgie just celebrated 91).

Before Mom, Toby, Joe and I headed out to the resort for the weekend-long party, we took advantage of the couple of hours we had free to see a little of the city. For posterity:

Remember The Alamo.

The all-weekend party was great, and this was the first time Joe had met this side of the family, which made the trip special already - but while we were there, my cousins threw me a surprise baby shower, and Poppie, who is a retired Catholic Deacon, was able to make time to bless our marriage in the Church.

The Shower
 
First, a big thank you, and I love you, to Heather, Kayleigh, Madeline, Aunt Cindy, et. al,  for a special surprise baby shower for me and Bean! A lot of thought went into the party, and it was so kind of you to think of me. The cake, gifts and decor were great:

The cake, (red velvet - delicious!) with the carved baby hand decorations that were displayed on each table.

Me, my hat, the gifts. Kayleigh made some great, festive head-wear for the occasion with headbands, feathers and ribbon. I would like to wear mine daily.

The Blessing

I have had the privilege of receiving all of my Sacraments, Baptism through Confirmation, from my own Grandfather, so it was a very special treat to have him bless our marriage as as well. It is a memory I will cherish for the rest of my life, and I owe a debt of gratitude to Mahgie and Poppie, my Mom, and all of those who were able to help with/attend the small ceremony and make this special day possible. For those of you who weren't able to be there, don't worry, I am determined that at some point there WILL be a party or reception in St. Louis, perhaps a vow renewal. I know it has been a few years delayed, but at least we have had good reasons (Iraq, Germany, now Bean).

Here are some photos from the day:

Poppie conducting the ceremony

 

 

 

Poppie, Mahgie, Myself, Joe

24 week Bump picture, so one day, Bean will know he was there.

It was a great day. It made me giggle a little to myself, though, thinking about how it must have looked to some of the other residents at Air Force Village: the six-months-pregnant-bride running about - little did they know we were already married!

If there is anything I would like most to take away from all of it though, it will be the myriad advice offered this weekend by my grandparents, who just recently celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary. Hopefully, a little of their good fortune rubbed off on us as well. Nine children, fifteen grandchildren, three (soon to be four), great-grandchildren, many military moves and a lot of love and hard work later, their bond is as strong as ever. I feel so grateful to be a part of it all. 

Joe and I will celebrate our third anniversary (although maybe we have two anniversaries now?) on October 12. Here's to the next 66 years.

Catching Up on Quite a Bit...

Hello, Dear Readers!!

It has been far too long since my last update (told you I wasn't very good at keeping these types of things up)! Sorry for the delay. I have now resolved that I will post at least once per week in the interest of keeping those reading up-to-date. I am 25 weeks pregnant as of yesterday, (that's more than halfway through!) and I am closing in quickly on the third trimester, which will begin in just two short weeks. It is hard to believe how time has flown.

This will be a longer post, seeing as I am so delinquent in updating. Here we go.

First movement!

I felt Bean moving around - little wiggles only every so often - for the first time around 16 weeks and 6 days. Before that, I had felt little flutters, almost like what it might feel like when carbonation bubbles float to the top of a glass of soda, if it were happening inside of your body. The first time I really knew it was the baby, I was in my mother's kitchen on the phone with Joe, and it almost felt like there was a little guppy moving around in there.

Those little guppy flutters have progressed into full-blown kicks and rolls now. One of Bean's favorite times for heavy activity these days is, of course, when I lie down and try to fall asleep at night. When I lay on either side, little hands or feet start kicking and punching away at whichever side I lay on, followed lately by some barrel rolls and good square kicks to the abdomen. It is just now starting to get strong and constant enough to keep me awake, but it's all worth it. I figure that soon enough, I will be up every couple of hours anyway, so this is good practice.

Belly Size

Looking back at my previous post, I now find the fact that I thought I was "showing" a bit laughable. I also find it funny that I thought I was feeling huge. I am sure all of you Mamas out there read that post with a knowing grin and thought, "she has no idea", to yourselves, so I am here to vindicate you all. Because now, I have a real baby bump. A bump that makes rolling over in bed somewhat cumbersome, and moving about with any sense of grace fairly amusing. I am beginning to wonder if perhaps the most frustrating thing about pregnancy is looking down and wondering, "how much bigger could it really get??", only to look at belly pictures of myself a few weeks later, and sighing at the fact that I thought my belly was large then. Surely in a few weeks I will once again look back and laugh at myself. Here are a couple of more recent pictures.

Bean Bump, 20 Weeks. Those were the days ;-)

 

Bean Bump, 25 weeks, 2 days. Sorry for looking so haggard. In the interest of getting this published before I leave for the gym I had to sacrifice makeup.

Amazing how things progress, eh?

And, Finally...

Our Bean is a BOY!!!

In order to save him some embarrassment later on in life, I will not post the pictures of his anatomy here. That seems cruel. But, maybe he wouldn't mind, because I will say that he wasn't shy about letting us know that he was a he. We are excited, and it has been feeling more and more real since we found out.

But even though I won't post those pictures, I am more than happy to share these, of his cute little face. It is somewhat distorted because he refused to totally sit still, but you can still make it out. Forgive the blown out nature of these scans, as well... it is time for a new scanner!

Hello, World. (For those who might not be able to make it out, the round object in the top center is his face/head. He kept his little hand up by it for most of the time, and kept trying to hide behind his umbilical cord - I would label this, but I am not fancy enough to figure out how to do that).

 

Face, from the front, with wiggles.

 

 

Hiding behind my cord, hand up by my face.

Shy Guy.

This should bring you all up-to-date on the most recent happenings, baby and bump-wise. Stay tuned as I overload you through the day, however, I am committed to getting at least two more posts up by tonight!